If you have seen my videos or read my articles, you know the importance of your ex feeling your loss after they broke up with you.
It’s how you turn the tables.
But how can you “make” your ex feel enough loss to come back to you?
That’s what I will discuss in this article and in the video above.
Navigating the aftermath of a breakup is often a journey filled with emotional turmoil and deep reflection.
One question that frequently arises is whether it’s possible to make your ex feel your absence enough to reconsider their decision to breakup with you.
This concept isn’t about playing mind games; rather, it’s about understanding the complexities of human emotions and relationship dynamics.
Here’s a detailed guide on how to potentially navigate this delicate situation and maybe, just maybe, pave the way for a renewed connection.
1. Showing You Can Stay Away With The No Contact Rule
The ‘ no contact rule ‘ is a strategic approach that involves deliberately ceasing all forms of communication with your ex for a set period.
This decision is not meant to be a form of emotional punishment but a way to give both parties the necessary space to breathe, reflect, and heal.
It’s an opportunity to break the cycle of dependency and show that your world does not revolve solely around the relationship or your ex.
And it can open their eyes for sure since a dumper can be quite arrogant with many having an unspoken belief that they are more attractive than you since they were the one who broke up with you while you wanted to stay with them.
Why It Works: This silence disrupts any lingering expectations your ex might have about your responses or behaviors.
It sends a clear message: breakups cannot be manipulated as tools for attention or control.
By asserting your independence, you inadvertently increase your attractiveness, as humans naturally gravitate towards those who show strength and self-sufficiency.
2. When Your Ex Reaches Out
When your ex reaches out after a period of no contact, it’s crucial to approach this communication with care.
Your goal here isn’t to rehash past issues or plead for reconciliation.
Instead, let them guide the conversation and show interest in their life without diving into the breakup details.
The Key: Maintain a neutral, friendly demeanor.
This approach demonstrates that you’re doing well and not desperately waiting for them.
It subtly shifts the power dynamic and can re-ignite your ex’s interest in you, as people often want what seems slightly out of reach.
Removing Relationship Imbalance
A major factor in many breakups is the imbalance of power and affection within the relationship.
If one partner is always the pursuer and the other always the prize, it creates a dynamic fraught with resentment and dissatisfaction.
Finding Balance: Strive for equilibrium in the relationship. Both partners should feel equally valued and significant.
This balance is crucial for a healthy, sustainable relationship.
By eliminating the chase, you foster mutual respect and appreciation, which are key ingredients for a lasting union.
3. Taking Things One Day at a Time
If the conversation of rekindling the relationship comes up, adopt a ‘one day at a time’ approach.
Express openness to the idea but emphasize the importance of not rushing back into things.
This approach helps keep both of you grounded and allows the relationship to rebuild organically, without the pressure of past issues.
Why This Matters: Rushing can lead to unresolved issues resurfacing.
Taking things slowly helps ensure that both partners have genuinely moved past these issues and are ready to start anew on a stronger foundation.
4. Avoid Overthinking and Overanalyzing
Overthinking every interaction with your ex can create a strained environment.
Constantly analyzing their words and actions can make you seem insecure, which is unattractive.
It can also cause you a lot of anxiety.
Instead, focus on living in the moment and enjoying your interactions for what they are.
The Negative Impact: Overanalyzing can lead to a tense, uncomfortable dynamic, where both parties feel like they’re walking on eggshells.
This environment is not conducive to a healthy, happy relationship and can prevent genuine connection.
Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!
5. Building a Stronger Self-Identity
During the no-contact period, invest time in yourself. Engage in activities that enhance your self-worth and happiness.
This self-improvement isn’t just for your benefit; it also changes the way your ex perceives you.
Reinventing Yourself: By focusing on personal growth, you become more attractive and interesting to your ex.
This transformation can reignite their interest and respect for you, as it showcases your resilience and capacity for positive change.
6. Understanding the Psychology of Absence
Absence can indeed make the heart grow fonder, but only if it’s handled correctly.
The psychology behind this is rooted in the human tendency to romanticize the past and crave what we can’t have.
Emotional Impact: The absence allows both parties to reflect on the good times and what they miss about the relationship.
This nostalgia can be a powerful motivator in wanting to rekindle things, provided the memories are mostly positive.
7. Creating New Memories Post-Breakup
When you do start interacting with your ex again, focus on creating new, positive experiences rather than dwelling on the past.
These new memories can lay the foundation for a renewed relationship, one that’s built on current happiness rather than past regret.
Why New Experiences Matter: Fresh memories help shift the focus from what went wrong to what could go right.
They serve as a testament to the potential for a new, improved relationship dynamic.
8. Managing Expectations
It’s important to manage both your and your ex’s expectations.
Avoid making promises about the future or setting unrealistic goals for the relationship. Instead, focus on the present and take each day as it comes.
The Role of Patience: Patience is key in rekindling a relationship. It allows for the natural progression of emotions and the development of a more authentic, mature connection.
10. Embracing Change and Growth
Finally, acknowledge and embrace the changes that both you and your ex have gone through.
People evolve, and so do their needs and desires.
Recognizing and accepting these changes is crucial for a successful reunion.
Moving Forward: A successful rekindled relationship often involves both parties accepting that they’ve grown and changed, and that the relationship will need to adapt to these changes to thrive.
Conclusion
Rekindling a relationship with an ex is a journey that requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to adapt.
By implementing the no contact rule, handling re-initiated contact wisely, maintaining balance, taking things slowly, avoiding overthinking, focusing on self-improvement, understanding the psychology of absence, creating new memories, managing expectations, and embracing change, you set the stage for a potentially successful and fulfilling reunion.
Remember, the goal is not just to get back together but to build a relationship that’s stronger, more respectful, and more fulfilling than before.
With a thoughtful approach and a positive mindset, this challenging journey can lead to a loving and lasting partnership.
Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!
Sincerely,
Coach Lee
P.S. — Hear the Podcast: The Loss That Brings Your Ex Back!
Originally published at https://myexbackcoach.com on November 24, 2023.
